


Tell Me, Do You See Me?

by DAgron01



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Canon up through 1X12, Character Study, Emotional Baggage, Episode 12 really wrecked me, F/F, Hope needs a hug, Hurt/Comfort, Josie and Lizzie really need to sort things out, Lizzie is so underrated and I will die for her, Penelope deserves more, Someone protect these girls, discusses mental illness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-08 10:04:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17979293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DAgron01/pseuds/DAgron01
Summary: The confession that rocked their world and how it will affect all four of our girls. Things will never be the same again, as each of them try to deal with the fallout of long held secrets and big revelations. Can they work through all the pain...and when they do...which couples will rise from the ashes?The love triangle we all wanted but never thought we'd get.





	1. Lizzie

**Author's Note:**

> The first four chapters will be told in a different characters POV immediately following Josie's big confession. The later chapters will be more third person as we get to see each characters struggle. This is more of a personal character study on each character with a bit of romance tossed in. Don't expect a lot of fluff but there will be a happy ending for each of our girls.  
> This also won't be very long. It is just about them and their journey, no outside events or other characters really.  
> Thanks for taking the chance on this. I've been in my own head about this story every since that episode and finally needed to write something down.

Lizzie’s mind was reeling. Josie’s confession messed with her mind in so many ways. She didn’t know how to react first. Tease her sister about a stupid crush. Tease Hope for enjoying the thought of Josie’s crush. Feel betrayed that Josie kept something so big from her. Not just the crush, but the fire as well. Those thoughts plagued her mind for sure. But the overwhelming thought was that of devastation.

Her sister disliked and distrusted her so much that she lied to her about something so huge and basically started Lizzie on a warpath with Hope and cast her as a pariah at the school. Because whether or not Josie just lied about the rumor mill, or if there had actually been rumors about Lizzie, it no longer mattered; because it had been a self-fulfilling prophecy in the most horrible way. Lizzie thought people hated her because of her episodes so she treated them badly. Then people actually did start to hate her because she treated them badly. Either way you look at it, Lizzie lost. She lost everything. Her sister most of all.

Hope left a while ago, probably to process the events and revelations of the last few days. Especially, the last few hours. And Lizzie was left in the room with Josie. Not even a full week ago, Josie had been affected by the stupid mind-controlling slug and had admitted that she thought Lizzie was the worst sister ever. And now, she just admitted that she created a riff between Lizzie and Hope all those years ago because she thought Lizzie would go after Hope if she found out that Josie liked her. Was she really that terrible of a person? Or sister?

She hadn’t moved from her spot since the confession. Hope left. Josie stared at her shyly. Full of guilt and worry. When Lizzie said nothing in response or reaction to Josie’s admission, her sister continued to get ready for bed in silence. So Lizzie let her.

When Josie had finished readying herself for bed, Lizzie finally blinked away her thoughts. But nothing could erase the damage that they had already inflicted. She wordlessly got ready for bed herself. Then when she was done, she climbed into bed and turned out the light.

“Goodnight.” Josie whispered.

She sounded so small. Reminiscent of the _old_ Josie. The one who had needed a charmed necklace from Hope just to be heard. And it hit Lizzie like a slushy to the face. She sat up in her bed and turned on the light.

“Did anyone ever actually talk about my episode? Do they know?” Lizzie whispered because she needed to know.

Josie swallowed visibly and shook her head slowly. She couldn’t even look at Lizzie, and that piled on to the pain and anguish rattling around in Lizzie’s mind. She hated everything about all of this.

“So...no one even knows about my...my...bipolar?” She asked just as hesitantly.

“Not really. I mean, you’ve had a few episodes here and there since then. But they’ve always started their own rumors as to why.” Josie admitted.

“And what do most people say about me?” She never felt so exposed in her life.

“They think you’re overreacting for attention. Or that you are being selfish.” Josie looked anguished. Her hands trembled and she steadied herself as to not break down. It seemed like she wanted to come over to Lizzie to comfort her, but knew enough in that moment to keep her distance.

“They do hate me. Don’t they?” Lizzie pleaded, hoping she was wrong about all of it.

Josie bit her lip. “Not everyone. I really….I am sorry about what I did back then. About what I said. I’ve hated myself for it for the last three years. And for the record, whenever I do hear someone say something bad about you, I defend you. I always have. It’s….it’s part of the reason things between Penelope and I didn’t work out.”

Lizzie raised an eyebrow. “ _Part_ of the reason? She hates me, Josie.”

“Not really. And not for the reasons you think.” Josie argued.

“She told me that I suck the life out of you. That I don’t leave any room left for _you_.” Lizzie fought back. “Did you...is that what you told her about me? Did you complain about me to her?”

Josie shook her head forcefully. “No. I’ve always stuck up for you. I literally have done everything since that day three years ago... _for_ you. And...she didn’t know why. I never told her. Because I felt so guilty and I didn’t want anyone hating me for a mistake that I couldn’t take back. So, she misunderstood or misinterpreted why I did those things for you, at the expense of myself. And she never told me about that stuff, when we were dating. She just always...she...poked.”

Lizzie nodded trying to understand. It explained a lot, but still it didn’t make any of this set right with her.

“All this time...not only have you been lying to me…”

“Lizzie…”

“Josie, it’s my turn to talk. I think you owe me that much.”

Josie bit her lip and remained silent.

“All this time, I thought you were supporting me. That you loved me so much that you were the only one in the entire world who had my back. But it was all a lie to appease your guilty conscience. And to make things worse...I beat myself up trying to be _worthy_ of _you._ I always thought you were this perfect sister, and I loved you for it. So much. And I hated myself when I didn’t live up to what you deserved. When I inevitably let you down. I know I’m selfish. I get that. And I know that when I have episodes, it embarrasses you and maybe even scares you. But I’ve been trying. I spelled a bracelet to try to be a nicer person. And for what? This whole time you’ve secretly been hating me anyway. You don’t even notice how much I’ve changed or how much I’m trying, because I think you still see that scared and selfish thirteen year old who teased you about being obsessed with Hope because I was jealous that you spent so much time with her. The irony of all of this is that I was scared that _you_ would choose her over me.”

Josie was crying as her shoulders shook in violent, yet silent, sobs. Lizzie wanted to comfort her, but she was in too much pain herself.

“I’m sorry you hate me so much. But I won’t apologize for who I’ve become. Especially since this monster that you despise so much is partly your own making.” Lizzie told her firmly. “But I still love you. You have broken my heart, and lost my trust. But I will always love you.”

Josie’s cries were no longer silent. Her wail of grief echoed off the walls. This time, Lizzie did walk across the room and pulled her sister into her arms to comfort her. She needed the comfort and the contact just as desperately. They held each other fiercely as Lizzie descended into sobs as well. When they had eventually cried themselves out, it was Josie who spoke.

“Will you ever be able to forgive me for what I’ve done?” She asked; sounding so broken.

“Honestly? I don’t know.” Lizzie told her as her own voice cracked at the admission.

“That’s fair. I deserve it.” Josie said as she finally pulled out of Lizzie’s embrace. “I will work to deserve your forgiveness. And also earn back your trust. I will be the sister worthy of _you_ this time.”

Lizzie closed her eyes to try to impede the reappearance of tears. “Josie…”

“No, I get it. I need to do this. I have been awful to you if I made you feel like all of that. It had never been my intention. I was so scared back then...I never stopped to think about how it would affect you. How it _did_ affect you. And it ended up costing me a chance with Hope anyway. So it was all for nothing. I lost you both in the end. And I lost myself along the way somehow. I hate what I did to you, but please know that I never hated you. I was jealous of you. I was intimidated by you. But that was all on me. My own low self-esteem. And I really do need to work on all of that. I’m trying to change, too. Trying to learn to take care of myself without stepping on you to do it.”

Lizzie smiled sadly at that. “How did we end up like this?”

“Abandonment issues. Partly. I mean, Mom’s been away for most of our lives doing god knows what. And Dad...he’s here every day...but never really _here_. Not really. It was easy to blame our issues on Hope the last few years because I had already made her the scapegoat, and then we just used her as the reason Dad avoided us. But that was never her fault either. That was on Dad.”

Lizzie nodded. “We need family counseling. And I need to up my therapy.”

“I do, too. I didn’t even realize how destructive I had gotten until recently. I mean, I lit Penelope on fire because I was jealous. I keep kissing her, because I’m sad and lonely and hurting. I keep hurting you. And all this time, the person I’ve always been mad at...is never here.”

“Mom?”

Josie nodded.

“I miss her, too.” Lizzie confessed. “So much it hurts.”

“And as horrible as our impromptu road trip was...it was really nice to spend time with Dad. Even if we still had to share him.”

“I agree.”

The room was enveloped in an awkward silence.

“I really think I’m broken...Lizzie. And I don’t know how to fix it.” Josie whimpered quietly in the stillness of the room.

Lizzie stared at her in awe. “I know this may sound shitty at the moment...but you admitting that...it makes me feel better. Because, this whole time, I felt so alone battling my demons. I thought….well, I compared myself to you and thought you were perfect so I hated myself for not being perfect.”

Josie nodded in understanding and a small, sad smile made it to her lips. “I’m so far from perfect. In a way...it’s nice that it’s all out in the open, because I hated people assuming I was something that I wasn't. It made the guilt worse. And the self-hatred.”

Lizzie hugged her tightly against her chest. “I don’t think either of us are broken though. Cracked a bit, but not beyond repair. At least, that’s what I think now.”

“Works in progress?”

“Lots of work. But yeah, I guess so.” Lizzie sighed. “I’m sorry that I went after the people you liked....I...I didn’t even want them. I just...I didn’t want you to have them, because I was scared that you’d leave me. Just like everyone else does.” She held Josie more firmly, as if reassuring herself that she was still there. “I guess you were right about the abandonment issues.”

“We somehow became recklessly co-dependent. I didn’t see it at first, but Penelope...she said some things to me as well. Recently. I’m only starting to understand.” Josie frowned. “How come you never went after her?”

Lizzie pushed her away with a light chuckle. “I do have standards, Josie.”

Josie rolled her eyes. “And you wonder why she hates you so much. You’ve always been awful to her. And you can’t even blame that on thinking that she knew about your episodes, because she wasn’t here then.”

Lizzie shrugged. “She was the first person that actually made you happy. And it’s not like I wanted you to be unhappy, I would never wish that for you. But she...she wasn’t someone I could make a move on just to keep her away from you. She would have seen right through it...and she wouldn’t have been interested in me anyway. That girl only has eyes for you. And I think that’s what scared me the most. She’s the one who could have made me lose you. Because when you were with her….you didn’t seem to need me as much. And...I...I wanted someone to need me. Even if I had to become selfish and create problems for myself just to have you fix them for me.” She frowned. “I’m sorry for that.”

Josie stared at her wordlessly for a while. “We need to work on so many things. I think this is the most honest we’ve ever been with each other. And the only way for us to move forward...is to keep communicating with each other. Instead of assuming we know what the other is thinking or feeling, or instead of letting our own self-doubt creep in...we really need to work on being better with each other. And kinder to ourselves.”

“While we’re being honest. You singing on stage for the talent show was not only the most proud I’ve ever been of you....but it was the first time I felt like I did the right thing by you. I was proud of myself in that moment...for making sure you had the spotlight. Because you deserved it. You were so good.”

Josie ducked her head in embarrassment.

“No, it’s true. You were amazing.” Lizzie confirmed, again.

“Thank you.”

Lizzie sat up straighter. “Now...is there anything you want to say to me? Any moment you were proud of me or…”

She sounded sarcastic because it was her default, but she never felt more vulnerable in her life. And she hoped in didn’t show all over her face.

“I know after everything, you may not believe me, but I’ve always been proud of you. You stand up for me when most kids overlook or tease me. You wholeheartedly accepted me when I came out to you, and that meant everything to me. You’re my best friend. I may have sacrificed my first relationship by catering to you because of my guilt, but it didn’t mean that I wouldn’t have anyway. I love you, Lizzie. I always have. And I always will.”

“No more secrets?” Lizzie questioned sincerely.

Josie shook her head. “No more secrets.”

They hugged again. Then Lizzie returned to her bed and shut the light back off. She lay in bed unable to sleep as she heard Josie’s quiet snores and even breaths filter throughout their room. Lizzie climbed out of bed and left the room to wander the halls. Eventually, she found her way into the kitchen. And she wasn’t the only one who had such ideas.

“You couldn’t sleep either?” She asked Hope as she watched her sneak a snack out of the freezer.

Hope slammed the door shut and spun on her heels. Her eyes widened as they landed on Lizzie. “No...how could I after the night we had?”

Lizzie shrugged. “Don’t know. Josie seemed to have no problem with it.”

Hope’s features softened. Lizzie raised an eyebrow in question but all she got from Hope was a shrug.

“A little late for ice cream, isn’t it?”  Lizzie asked after a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

“It’s never too late for ice cream.” Hope smirked as she grabbed two spoons and inclined one toward Lizzie.

Lizzie smiled as she walked over to Hope and took the offered spoon, then she sat down on the chair beside her and they shared the bowl of ice cream.

“Do you think we could have always been doing this?” She asked awkwardly after a few bites.

“What? Sharing ice cream?” Hope teased.

Lizzie rolled her eyes. “No, talking civilly. Being friends.”

Hope studied her. “I thought about that most of the night. Where would we have been had Josie not started the fire and lied to you about me.”

“And what was your conclusion?”

“I think that all three of us were young back then. And have been through so much since. It’s hard to know for sure.”

“That’s a cop out and you know it.”

“I hated you because you hated me. But...even if we hadn’t hated each other...I wasn’t in the place to let anyone in. Not really. Like I told you in the car, I’m just as prone to some of the same issues as you. I had or _have_ my own shit to deal with.”

Lizzie hummed in agreement. They each ate a few more spoonfuls.

“When did that change?” Lizzie asked.

“When did what change?”

“When did you finally decide it was time to let people in. Let Josie in?”

Hope licked her lips and Lizzie’s eyes automatically followed the movement. Then Hope sighed loudly and it brought Lizzie’s eyes back up to Hope’s face. She hoped she hadn’t blushed or been caught staring.

“I got sick of being lonely. I know, I brought it all on myself...but it didn’t make it better, you know. Being alone sucks. But being lonely in a room full of people is worse. And...I guess...I remembered the thirteen year old girl who followed me around and was the first and only person at this school who was really nice to me.”

Lizzie’s eyes widened. “Oh my god. You had a crush on Josie.”

Hope bit her lip and looked away as blush dusted her cheeks.

“You even gave her a birthday present this year. It ended up saving her freaking life. And wow…” Lizzie rubbed at her temples and closed her eyes. “I need to process this.”

“Please don’t tell her. I know that it’s in the past and I’m with Landon anyway.”

“And she kisses Penelope.”

“Wait. What?” Hope stared at her with furrowed brows. “Like...more than once. I thought it was the slug thing that made them seem close...but…” Her eyes widened in realization. “Penelope did write her a note.”

Lizzie groaned. “What is it with gays and their notes?!?!”

Hope actually laughed out loud at that.

“So...the rest of this semester is going to be interesting.” Lizzie breathed out as she sat her head down on the table. She squeezed her eyes shut because suddenly she had a headache just from imagining all the drama that was bound to come.

“I...planned on checking in with you in the morning, but since you’re here...I know that it’s a lot to process, but...how are you? I know that what Josie said really threw me for a loop, so I can’t imagine how you feel about it all.”

Lizzie popped one eye open to scrutinize Hope. Then she opened the other one and just stared at her openly. “You’re actually asking….like, because you want to know? Or because you think you should?”

Hope rolled her eyes and shoved at Lizzie. “I know we didn’t always get along, and now we know a lot of the reasons why...but I’m not the horrible person you think I am. I actually care. I always have.”

Lizzie sat up and relaxed a bit at the admittance. “Oh.”

“Yeah. So, I’m asking as a... _friend._ If I may be so bold.” She smiled with confidence, then her face softened. “Are you okay?”

Lizzie nodded hesitantly. “I will be. I think. Josie and I have a lot to work through...but we had a nice talk, and I think we’ll be okay, too. I hope so anyway. I still need her. Even if she doesn’t actually need me.”

Hope frowned. “She does. That’s what this was all about. She needs you so much, that she gave up her own chance at happiness to keep the two of you close.”

“That’s not what happened.”

“Tell me something, and be honest. If you knew that Josie liked me...would you have gone after me, like she feared you would?”

Lizzie thought about it and then she hated herself for the answer. “Yes. I would have. And I am a horrible person because it wouldn’t have been because I liked you, it would have been to keep her from having you. Or rather, you from having Josie.”

Hope nodded without emotion, as if she had expected as much. And that felt like another gut punch. She must have noticed Lizzie’s reaction.

“Oh, hey. That wasn’t a judgment. I was just making an observation. So, see, Josie sacrificed her chances with me...to keep you.” Hope told her.

“No, it was to keep you to herself. To keep you away from me.”

“Maybe part of it. But you underestimate how much she does love you.”

“Can I ask you a question, that I’m pretty sure I know the answer to--but I’m going to make you say it out loud?” Lizzie wondered a moment later.

“Without actually knowing what was in the note...had she told me she liked me, would I have admitted that I liked her back? Yes.”

Lizzie narrowed her eyes at her. “And...even with Landon in the picture now…”

“And Penelope, apparently.” Hope added callously.

“Right. If she were to do the same stupid romantic gesture…”

“If she were to start my room on fire and burn my family keepsakes…”

“Stop making this harder for me...just answer the question.” Lizzie practically growled.

“You never asked a question.” Hope smirked.

Lizzie rolled her eyes. “I hate you.”

Hope’s smirked turned into a genuine smile, and Lizzie smiled in return.

“So much has happened lately, I don’t know how I’d respond. I think...I think that we would have to really talk. We’ve only just become friends, and she means too much to me to rush into anything or to risk throwing what we started to develop away just because of nostalgia for the past.” Hope answered honestly.

Lizzie studied her and finally nodded her head in acceptance. “I’m glad we’re finally friends. You’re a good person, Hope Mikaelson.”

Hope smiled wide and her eyes lit up. “Thank you.” She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and met Lizzie’s eyes with hers. “So are you. The second best Saltzman I know.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes, but her smile didn’t leave her face. “I can deal with that, Josie did write you a love note and all.”

“I was talking about your dad.” Hope grinned wickedly before cackling.

Lizzie pushed her so hard she almost fell off her chair. “Have I told you how much I hated you recently?”

“A few more times, and I might actually start to believe you.” Hope teased again.

Lizzie huffed. “Goodnight.”

She went to walk away, but Hope reached for her arm and stilled her in her movements.

“Nice talk. Really. I am glad you’re okay...or that you’re going to be, especially with Josie. I know I somehow inadvertently came between you back then and I really would hate to be the reason now.”

Lizzie noticed the vulnerability in Hope’s eyes so she decided not to tease her. “I enjoyed our talk as well. Let’s do it more often.”

Hope smiled at that, then released her hold on her. “Night, Lizzie.”

“Goodnight, Hope.” Lizzie replied as she turned and walked away from her.

She was beyond exhausted. Still completely confused. But she felt a lot better about so many things. She just hoped that things were still good between them all in the morning. But only time would tell.


	2. Penelope

Penelope should have known better than to be nosy. Eavesdropping never led to anything good. But when she saw the twins arrive home from their spring break trip, she wanted to confront Josie about all the times they kissed and about the note and about everything that had gone unsaid between them. Penelope was not a patient person. She wasn’t even a nice one. And she had waited too damn long for some answers. She felt like she deserved them. 

So she silently made her way toward the twins’ room only to see that Hope had made it there first. And, of course, she was curious as to why she’d be there this late at night. Hope had already gotten to spend the entire break with them, what more could they possibly have to say to each other? Especially, since she hated Lizzie almost as much as Penelope did.

What she overheard was not at all what she had expected. If fact, it made so many things make so much more sense now. They do say hindsight is twenty-twenty. And when have  _ they  _ ever been wrong? Although it had put a lot of things in perspective, it still left her feeling so confused and even a bit angry. Or not angry...maybe, empathetic. Was that what this new feeling was? Empathy? For Lizzie? And even a bit of sympathy for Hope. After all, she did get her room burned down. Penelope hadn’t been at the school back then, but she understood the significance of what she heard. Josie had unintentionally started a feud between Hope and Lizzie. And even possibly jump-started Lizzie’s paranoia, which is where the empathy thing came in. She actually felt bad for the blonde. 

It was the confession about the crush that was the only thing that hadn’t surprised her. Hope was a pretty decent human being, and also very pretty. Penelope had crushed on her for a bit when she first arrived at the school as well, so she understood Josie’s crush. And the gay panic that followed. Josie had only been thirteen and hadn’t even been out yet as far as Penelope remembered. So yeah, she understood that much of it. Her confusion came from Hope’s reaction. Hope seemed almost pleased. Or, in the very least, amused. And neither of those reactions sat well with Penelope.

She already had to compete with Lizzie for Josie’s attention. She didn’t want to have to start to compete with Hope as well. And did Hope’s reaction mean that she wasn’t straight herself? Although, Penelope’s motto had always been no one was straight unless proven otherwise. Hope’s possible...un-straightness had surprised her a bit. Even though it shouldn’t have. She had always been such a loner that she didn’t tend to pursue anyone. Hope seemed to just accept the offer if someone pursued her. At least, it appeared that way to Penelope. Like maybe Hope got sick of being lonely every once in a while so she decided to let someone in. It made her wonder who Hope would actually pursue if she had the choice and took it. Not that she actually wanted the answer to the question. Not when the answer might be Josie.

Penelope left before she was seen, because she had heard more than enough. And she spent the rest of the night tossing and turning in her bed trying to figure out what it all meant. What it meant in general. And what it could possibly mean to her and Josie. Or more pressingly, at the moment, what it meant for Josie and Lizzie. Because as much as she disliked Lizzie normally, this new revelation could really but a wedge between them and she cared too much about Josie to actually let that happen. And perhaps, now she cared a little bit about Lizzie, too. Because the poor girl was absolutely blindsided in the worst way possible by the most important person in her life. And Penelope wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on her worst enemy (which happened to be Lizzie anyway).

The next morning, after going through what she wanted to say over and over again, she headed toward the twins room again. This time, she hoped their wouldn’t be any drama. She just wanted to talk to Josie about the kisses, and maybe even talk to both of the twins about last night. Which meant she had to own up to eavesdropping, and likely be subjected to a slew of insults from Lizzie. Although, she would take it willingly. She began to realize that she’d pretty much endure anything for Josie; which was a problem she’d have to remedy at another time.

She hesitated before she knocked gently on the door. It was Lizzie who opened it moments later, and she looked as tired and as uneasy as Penelope felt.

“Josie’s not here.”

Before Penelope could answer, Lizzie attempted to shut the door in her face. Penelope had been quick to respond and caught the door before it could close on her. She stepped in passed Lizzie and made herself at home in the girl’s room.

“You thought I was lying and had to check for yourself?” Lizzie asked with a raised eyebrow and a snarl.

“I didn’t think you were lying necessarily. But I do know that Josie has been actively avoiding me for weeks.”

“If you’re wondering if she read the note yet, I’m the last one to ask because apparently she still keeps secrets from me even though we just promised we wouldn’t.” There was no actual bite to Lizzie’s remark, she mostly sounded hurt.

Penelope decided to take pity on her. “Or maybe she already threw it away so there was nothing to tell you.”

Lizzie shrugged but didn’t respond otherwise.

“I…” Penelope sighed. “I came over here last night intending to confront Josie...about the note and about the kissing, but well...I overheard some things.”

Lizzie’s eyes widened and suddenly she stopped looking hurt and looked furious.

“So what...are you here to gloat?!”

“Gloat?” Penelope wondered aloud with confusion.

“Yeah, you always hated me. And now that I actually lost everything…”

Penelope shook her head. “I’m not here to gloat.”

“Then you’re here to say that you told me so. That I really was such a horrible sister...and person, that I had all of this coming.”

Penelope frowned. “No. After what I heard last night...I kind of, I was hoping to just check in on you. Make sure you were okay.”

Lizzie stared at her like she was crazy. Maybe she was. 

“Right.” The blonde practically growled.

Penelope raised her hands in surrender as she sat on Josie’s bed. “You don’t have to believe me. I know I’m not your favorite person. But if you need to talk to someone about this...I do know what it’s like to be disappointed and upset with Josie.”

Lizzie bit her lip, then she inhaled deeply and released an unsteady breath as she sat down on her own bed. “I didn’t think you could ever be mad at my sister. She’s like the love of your life or something.”

“And yet, here we are. She’s your best friend and favorite person in the world...and she’s my everything. As stupid and cheesy as that sounds. And we’re both hurting. Because of her.”

Lizzie closed her eyes and dropped her body to the bed, lying on her back and throwing her arms in the air in frustration.

“It just...I thought we were on the same page. It had always been the two of us against the world. And then I learn all these things I never knew about her. And it...it really sucks.” She sat up slowly and met Penelope’s eyes with her own sad ones. “It hurts.”

Penelope nodded. 

“And how do I trust her again? She literally lied to my face every day for three years. She did some things...bad things. Kind of vindictive things. It’s like...I don’t even know her at all.” Lizzie continued.

“Do you still love her?”

Lizzie’s eyes widened. “Of course I do. We’re sisters. Nothing could ever change that.”

“Then...maybe...while she’s working to earn back all the trust she lost from you....you can take the time to get to know who she really is. Because I think she tried to be someone else for so long that she forgot who she was along the way...and none of us ever got the chance to really know her.”

Lizzie studied her. “And do you...still want to know  _ this  _ version of her?”

Penelope rolled her eyes and sighed. “They are all versions of her. We all show people what we want them to see. We put our best foot forward. We try to do better or be better than we are. Just because we’re not entirely that person...it doesn’t devalue the person that we are. I think it makes her even more interesting now.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes and laughed harshly. “Of course you would.”

Penelope chose not to take offense to that.

“I get it now. I always thought that she was too concerned with your feelings and well being to be selfish and go after what she wanted. But she won’t let herself be selfish. Because when she was...she hurt you and Hope, and she even burned up Hope’s room. She told me over a month ago that when she was selfish again...trying to actually get to know your bio mom...it caused her to be buried alive. She was so upset at me. But I think, now, that she was more upset at herself. Because she thinks horrible things happen when she decides to be selfish. It’s her guilt. It always has been. She hates herself so much for what she did, that she doesn’t believe she deserves to be happy. She sabotaged us, our relationship...mine and hers...because she was happy.”

Realization dawned on her as soon as she said the words. She knew the truth to them. And it should have made her happy, but they were still so much in limbo that she didn’t allow herself to be excited by the truth yet. And Josie was in so much pain right now that Penelope realized her own happiness needed to wait. She smiled slightly to herself. Oh, how the roles had reversed. She was choosing to be the selfless one this time, for Josie. Because it was time Josie focused on herself and her healing. 

Penelope saw movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to see Josie standing in the middle of the room with her mouth twisted in a frown and her eyes wide.

“I know you said we’re never getting back together. And I know you’ve been purposely avoiding me.” Penelope stated as she stayed on Josie’s bed and looked at her ex pleadingly. “And I don’t need you to explain anymore. I get it. I do. I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you still want.” Then she stood up, but didn’t approach the girl for fear she’d run away from her again. “But I accidentally overheard the conversation between you guys and Hope last night...and I came by to check on you.”

Josie frowned and looked uncertain. She looked embarrassed. But Penelope refused to let the girl duck her head and hide in shame. As far as she was concerned, she had nothing to feel ashamed about. She quickly took two strides and closed the distance between them, then she raised Josie’s chin with her fingertips and forced eye contact with the other girl.

“Hey, please at least look at me.” Penelope begged quietly...but with a firm enough tone that it brokered no argument from the other girl.

Josie took a deep breath and met Penelope’s eyes. Then her eyes quickly darted to Lizzie’s and back again. Penelope understood that this was a conversation Josie wanted to have in private, so maybe now was not the time. And she could wait. She really could. Patience was a virtue after all, and Penelope might as well develop a few of those. They may come in handy down the road.

She nodded her acceptance, and stepped around Josie to give the girl some space. But before she got too far, Josie’s hand gripped her wrist and held her in place. Their eyes met again.

Lizzie cleared her throat from the other side of the room and stood from her bed. “I’m going to go find anywhere to go that isn’t here.”

She gave Penelope a grateful smile as she left, and Penelope found herself returning it sincerely. Then she redirected her attention on Josie.

“I was never who you thought I was. I’m not this selfless person. And I’m sorry that I made you think I was. That you loved someone who isn’t real.” Josie told her quietly.

“You’re real.” Penelope argued. “Besides, I never needed you to be perfect. And do you think I’d be the type of person to judge you for any of those things?” Penelope raised an eyebrow and smirked when she saw Josie blush. “I always encouraged you to be more selfish...remember? And when you lit me on fire...I actually thought you were flirting with me.”

Josie laughed out loud. “What?!”

“You finally paid enough attention to me that you were jealous I was talking to another girl. It gave me hope that maybe you hadn’t moved on like I thought you had. And it encouraged me to start to pursue you again.” Penelope admitted almost shyly. 

Josie stared at her. “Really? That’s why you started to flirt with me and not leave me alone...because I lit you on fire?”

Penelope bit her lip and nodded, then she rolled her eyes at herself. “So you see, I’m even more screwed up than you are. Because, really, who does that?”

Josie narrowed her eyes. “So even after everything…”

“I still love you.” Penelope told her honestly. Her eyes plead with Josie to believe her. She hadn’t even been this vulnerable when she handed Josie the note she wrote her over a week ago. 

“Why?” Josie looked even more vulnerable than Penelope felt.

“Why not?” Penelope said as she grabbed her hand and held it between her own. “You’re smart, funny, beautiful, talented , kind...and you’re so much better than you think you are. The fact that you regret what you’ve done shows how much you care. Most people, myself included, hurt people and never think twice about it. But you changed everything about yourself, because you didn’t like what you thought you became.”

Josie released a shaky breath and slowly raised her eyes to meet Penelope’s again. Probably searching for the validity of the statement.

“In my not so humble opinion, it just makes me respect you more.” Penelope confessed quietly.

She left out the  _ and love you more, too _ that was on her lips. She knew Josie had heard enough and would need more time to process most of it anyway.

But before Josie could respond, there was a soft knock on the door. Josie brushed past Penelope to open it and Hope was standing on the other side. Hope smiled in greeting, but then her eyes met Penelope’s and her smile dropped off her face. To replace the smile, her brows furrowed in confusion.

“Hey, Hope. Sorry, I was just...I have something I need to do. It just came up.” Josie stuttered out before rushing away from her own room.

Penelope couldn’t help laughing, as Hope stared at Josie’s retreat in confusion.

“Subtly has never been her thing.” Penelope said fondly before she smirked darkly at the other girl. “Which is why I’m surprised you never realized she had a crush on you.”

Hope’s eyes widened. “She told you?”

Penelope sighed and shook her head. “I overheard it last night.”

Fire shone in Hope’s eyes as she became visibly upset at the confession. “Last night...that was a private conversation...you had no right…”

“Hey...it was an accident. And it’s not like I’m going to blurt it out to everyone. It sucks all around...I mean, I know how each of you must be feeling after everything came out in the open. And it does suck...but I also think it could be really good. Everyone can properly heal now. As long as it’s not swept under the rug.”

Hope licked her lips and closed her eyes. Then she opened them and looked several years younger than she was….she looked so fragile in that moment that Penelope, had she been a better person, would have hugged her or comforted her somehow.

“So...she is avoiding me on purpose…” Hope stated in a way that sounded like a question.

_ Duh?!  _ Penelope wanted to scream at her. But she took a deep, calming breath and bit back the insult.

“I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. But it never does. It still hurts every time.” She admitted. She knew all about Josie’s tendency toward avoidance.

Hope nodded thoughtfully, and sadly. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Would me saying ‘ _ No’  _ stop you?”

“What happened between the two of you?” Hope chewed on her lip before continuing. “Like...why’d you break up? I always assumed you cheated on her...with how mad she was at you. And how much she and Lizzie seemed to hate you after. But I’ve also seen the way you look at her. You never stopped loving her. So I’m certain that you never cheated on her.”

“I dumped her because she pushed me away or chose Lizzie over me too many times. It hurt. And I thought, stupidly, that if I left her...that she’d see reason and miss me, and realize how much she loved me and actually chase me for once. I guess, I wanted her to fight for me just once, because I was always fighting for us.”

“And when she didn’t...you struck out at Lizzie.” Hope concluded correctly.

“I thought if Josie saw Lizzie for who I thought she was...that she’d come to her senses. Or in the very least, I just wanted her to stand up for herself. Even if she didn’t want me, I wanted her to stand up to Lizzie. I blamed her for ruining our relationship and have punished her wrongfully for it ever since.”

She really owed Lizzie an apology. Maybe she’d write her a letter. She figured that the blonde would probably at least read it. She seemed like the type to be sentimental like that.

“And now that you obviously know the truth….what are you going to do?” Hope wondered.

“If Josie needs to hate someone...I would rather it be me than herself. I left her alone to deal with all the guilt and self-hatred and...Josie doesn’t handle being overwhelmed very well. And she has hated herself enough for how she treated all of us...I’m not going to pile on to that. I’d do anything for her. But I just realized that maybe what she needs most right now is a friend, and I’m willing to be that for her.”

Hope nodded. “You’re right. I’ve been hurting for the last twelve hours over the betrayal and her lies. I can’t even imagine what she’s gone through the last three years...and she’s been alone through all of it. I’ll tell her that I forgive her and that we can work through this...if she ever actually talks to me again.” Hope frowned. 

“She’s embarrassed about the crush. And she’s feeling guilty about the rest of it. It isn’t personal...she probably just needs space. I’d suggest you write her a letter...but that’d be in bad taste.”

Penelope couldn’t resist teasing.

Hope raised an eyebrow and smirked at her. “Are you referencing her letter to me that caused all of this...or your letter to her that she refuses to read?”

“Touche.” Penelope smirked back with a matching eyebrow.

“I wanted to hate you.” Hope admitted.

“I do hate you.” Penelope grinned.

“Well, join the club. You and Lizzie can be co-captains.” 

“Ewww, no!” Penelope fake gagged and then laughed.

Hope chuckled as well. After several seconds, Penelope turned serious again.

“Why did you want to hate me? Was it because I broke Josie’s heart?” She asked.

“Yes. But also, because you had her heart to begin with.” Hope’s gaze was steady on Penelope’s.

“Well, apparently, you had it first.” Penelope didn’t blink, she held her stare.

Hope smiled smugly. “I did.”

“Yeah, three years ago.” Penelope raised her lips into a half smile. “Her taste has obviously improved since then.”

Hope broke out into a wide smile and her gaze softened, although it somehow seemed far more intimidating. Penelope broke first and averted her gaze. It landed on Josie’s desk and her eyes widened at what she saw there. The note.  _ Her _ note. Josie hadn’t thrown it away. 

She quickly walked to the desk and plucked it off of it. Hope followed her and touched her shoulder as she attempted to peer around Penelope.

“What are you…?” Her eyes widened. “That’s your note.” She reached for it and Penelope pulled it away. “Aww, come on. If Josie won’t read it, at least let me.”

Penelope twisted out of Hope’s grasp and kept the note out of her reach. But Hope didn’t give up. She tried to grab for it again and laughed as she did so.

“Is it really that embarrassing? Now I have to read it!” She teased as she cackled happily.

Penelope sighed and hid the note in her pocket which at least caused Hope to stop fighting for it.

“It’s not that...it’s just…” Her eyes widened. “Do you understand now why Josie might have been so scared and embarrassed that she accidentally set fire to your room?”

Hope’s eyes widened as well and she bit her lip while she nodded. “I was so caught up on the lie...on feeling betrayed...I hadn’t realized how scared she must have been. Confessing your feelings to someone, even if she hadn’t been scared of Lizzie teasing her...it’s hard, isn’t it?”

Hope wondered.

Probably because she never had to experience that fear...that doubt. She must have never cared about anyone enough to risk putting herself out there. Except that she had, hadn’t she? She gave Josie the talisman necklace for her birthday. And she became friends with Josie, despite the tumultuous past she shared with the twins. Penelope stepped closer to Hope. 

“Do you still wonder what was in  _ your _ note?” She wondered. 

Hope stepped back as Penelope approached and nodded. “It’s hard not to wonder. I’d bet that even if Josie hasn’t read yours yet...she doesn’t go a minute without thinking about what it could say.”

Penelope understood the answer. She appreciated Hope for trying to make her feel better, but it had the opposite effect.

“Do you still need to know how she’d respond to yours?” Hope asked after an awkward silence passed between them.

Penelope swallowed audibly. “No. I don’t want to know anymore. Because either she’d reject me again...or she’d accept out of some perceived obligation. And I don’t want to experience either.”

Hope stared at her thoughtfully. “She’s never going to tell me what she wrote me, is she?”

Penelope shook her head. “Probably not. But do you really need her to? It was three years ago. Things change.”

Hope frowned and all joy drained from her face.

“No, hey, I didn’t mean it how it sounded.” Penelope backpedaled, because for some reason seeing Hope Mikaelson so sad physically caused her pain. “I just meant, that the things she might have said then...before she even knew you...wouldn’t hold a candle to what they would mean if she said them now. It wouldn’t be just infatuation anymore...you’ve developed a real friendship now, whatever she may feel or did feel...it would be different now...stronger. That’s probably why she’s avoiding you. Because what if she’s scared you’ll ask her a question she doesn’t want to answer.”

“And what question would that be?”

“Are you honestly telling me that it hasn’t crossed your mind...whether or not she still has a crush on you?” Penelope asked with exasperation.

Hope shrugged. “I have Landon...and she has you.”

Penelope rolled her eyes. “Josie has to figure out who she is and what she wants. And I plan to be her friend through all of it. But, Hope, I don’t care if you’re gay, straight or otherwise...you need to also figure your shit out. Maybe you love Landon, and that’s fine and dandy. But you shouldn’t use him as an excuse for avoiding the big questions.”

Hope raised an eyebrow. “The big questions, huh?”

“Yeah. Like who the hell is Hope Mikaelson? I’ve known you long enough and still have no clue. The twins have known you a decade and they don’t really know you either. So...maybe you prefer to be a loner so no one asks you questions. But here I am...asking them. Are you lying to everyone, Hope? Or just to yourself?”

Hope hesitated before closing her eyes and sighing loudly. When she opened them, her eyes were clear and determined.

“I think I do owe people some explanations….or at least, I should open up a bit. But there are other people who deserve those answers first.” She told Penelope. “No offense.”

Penelope shook her head and smiled. “Hey, I get it. Go do you.”

Hope smiled at her kindly. “Thank you for the talk.” She took a step toward the door, then stopped and faced Penelope more completely. “Leave the note. Even if she doesn’t read it, she deserves to have the choice.”

Hope walked out after that, and Penelope removed the note from her pocket and put it back on the desk. Hope was right. She had been denied the chance to respond to Josie. And she would probably always be left wondering. And Josie would likely always regret never being brave enough to wait for the answer. Penelope may be still working on patience...but bravery was something she always prided herself in having in spades. She had never been one to shrink away when it came to going after what she wanted. Why start now? So with one last glance at the note that bore her soul, she walked out of the room. The rest would be in Josie’s hands.


End file.
